Virtual happy hour topics: Tom Brady, Vikings money, no spelling bee

It only took a couple of days — and the combination of working from home and social distancing — for the concept of a “virtual happy hour” to gain huge traction. The idea is simple: connecting via technology instead of face-to-face to enjoy a beverage of choice and have a real conversation to make this all feel a little less … isolating. But what are you going to talk about? Ah, that’s were I’ll attempt to fill whatever void exists with three virtual happy hour topics every day — likely posted in the morning because, let’s face it, normal rules no longer apply and I’m not going to judge you for starting a virtual happy hour at any time of day. Here we go: 1 Tom Brady officially signed with Tampa Bay. Other (less sports savvy) people in the virtual happy hour might say: I can’t believe it! After 20 years in New England what was he thinking? You (one who has sophisticated sports takes) might say: Sure, it’s strange. But the Patriots got old in a hurry last season and might be a sinking ship. He’ll get to play in warm weather, with an offensive-minded head coach (Bruce Arians) and with a team that could be on the rise. Plus, old quarterbacks do this all the time — including a certain strangely purple-clad guy who wore No. 4. 2 The Vikings sure are changing over a lot of their roster for a team that won 10 games and went to the playoffs. Other people might say: The Vikings lost three of their top cornerbacks and haven’t done anything yet to upgrade their offensive line. In fact they lost one reasonably steady performer when they cut guard Josh Kline. You might say: Those are both good points, but what’s maybe even more interesting is how much “dead money” they have on their salary cap. From Kline to Xavier Rhodes to the Stefon Diggs trade, they have more than $22 million on their salary cap in 2020 tied up in players who aren’t on the roster. That’s a huge departure from past years. 3 The spelling bee is the latest coronavirus-related postponement. Others might say: Scripps suspended the spelling bee finals that were going to be in May. No! I mean, I get it. But that makes me S-A-D. You might say: It’s a bummer, to be sure. But we can always have a virtual spelling bee anytime we want. No need to look so w-o-e-b-e-g-o-n-e.

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